What’s in a Nickname?

Designed by rawpixel.com

Did you ever hear the saying, “Dead as a DoDo?” Imagine this is a nickname you didn't ask for, a name that says that you're so much of an outsider, you should be ignored because you're non-existent.  That’s what happened to me when I moved at age seven to a small suburb 30 miles west of Chicago in 1953. We’d come from rural Alabama, which to my new playmates, could just as well have been the moon. It pinched my spirit. Why couldn’t they just call me by my true name.  I knew that where I came from no one would nickname a cute little blond girl like me something as horrible as that. It just wasn’t respectful.

I asked another girl on the playground, "Why can't you just call me Dorine?"

She looked me straight in the eye. "It’s just easier to call you DoDo than Dorine.  Just like we call Susan, Suzie. She doesn’t mind so you shouldn’t either. And, anyway, it's a strange name and you don’t even spell it right.  It should be D-o-r-e-e-n.”  With that, off she pranced, joining the other girls in some jump rope.  I stood alone, furious, and helpless. I did mind.  I couldn’t help it that my parents named me after my two grandmothers – Dorothy and Pauline. 

Now as an adult, I think back to those days remembering that eventually it stopped. I don’t really know why. Maybe a teacher or parent overheard it.  Maybe I learned to ignore it and maybe they just became tired of bullying me as we got older.   In any case,  because of those first years, even after I found acceptance, friendship and affection among those playmates, I wear an armor of outspoken, positive, take-charge attitude. I became pragmatic and persistent, wrangling for my identity and constructing my independence.

As I prepared to leave town at age 25 to make my way on the east coast, those same playmates came together to celebrate the start of my adventure. They crowned me the "Determined Little Dumpling". So, my success, in some ways, is all their fault. They didn’t call me DoDo anymore and I'm certainly not a little dumpling either, but my adventure continues.

However, to this day, I never assume that someone is okay with a nickname.